DMM/CPM: Becoming the Kind of People Whom God Uses

By Dottie Collins with R Nyman

For the last decade or so, I have had the honor of praying with both men and women working on the mission field in many different nations. I have seen in my many conversations and prayer times that living life on the field is not simple or easily understood. Challenges include not only cultural differences but also issues closer to home: dealing with teammates, spouses and children, organizations, and loneliness.

Becoming Transformed Ones

No matter how much head knowledge we have or how well we can accomplish tasks, if our heart is not transformed and healed we can burn out quickly and become easily offended and bitter. I believe we can many times do things from a sense of obligation and not from a place of love – receiving the love God gives us as His precious sons and daughters so we can pour out His love on others. We struggle with getting things right and can easily slip into faulty attempts to earn God's love, rather than receiving and resting in His love. I don’t mean that if you feel burned out and at the end of your rope you are doing something wrong! I desire to see both men and women healed and hearts transformed before they go to the mission field so the pain can be minimized. I have seen this as one of the costs of going to the field and one of the greatest sacrifices "sent ones" make: the tendency to pour themselves out until they have nothing left to give.

I hope for men and women heading overseas to have as much of their heart healed as possible before going. If the past is not addressed, it is even more difficult to deal with the stresses of the present. I have repeatedly heard misguided Christian leaders say that Christians don't need counseling. As a result, those whom these leaders influence tend to show up on the field with “land mines” from their past which Satan eagerly triggers. 

Hearts Transformed…Hearts Released

How can hearts be transformed and greater damage prevented? The issues which seem to surface most frequently, tend to be triggered by past hurt and pain. The past experiences of not feeling heard, validated, or valued tend to be strong areas of wounding. Also, I very often see a tendency to carry unforgiveness. Whether birthed through major trauma, taking offense, or from molehills that have been coddled as mountains. These choices to not forgive others, when unchecked, become significant opportunities for strongholds to take root. Small things, when unforgiven, eventually pile up into large things.

Through my own experience of feeling misunderstood and not heard, I have realized how such feelings can turn into unforgiveness, hurt, feeling rejected, feeling as though everything you do is wrong, resentment and anger.

Launch of Movements or Taking on Water?

Cultivating a heart that God can use is crucial to the launch of cascading movements to Christ among UPGs of the world. In reality, we will all be misunderstood and unheard at times. So, how do we deal with it? I recommend that we first recognize times when we have felt misunderstood and taken up an offense.  If we haven't dealt with such issues from our past, they tend to be exacerbated in the present. This can lead to feeling rejected and hopeless, and often self-pity enters in. Once we recognize these feelings, we can take them to God and talk honestly with Him about them. The Lord has reminded me repeatedly how gravely He was misunderstood and yet He has great compassion. It helps me to be reminded of how deeply our Savior was misunderstood and yet He did not defend himself. Yielding to Christ’s ways empowers me to let Him defend me and to choose to not defend myself.

Practical Steps to Become the Person Whom God Uses

§   If you have someone in your life who is safe and trustworthy, share with him or her how you feel and have them pray with you and for you.

§  Ask the Lord to show you any places where you have not recognized a hurt or offense.

This leads us to a second area in our lives: unforgiveness. When we don't forgive those who have wronged us, it becomes an obstacle to receiving the forgiveness and freedom the Lord has for us.

Identifying the Usual Suspects

These are the main areas of unforgiveness I have seen occurring among mission field workers, both expat and local:

§  Unforgiveness toward those who have wronged us (people or organizations).

§  Unforgiveness toward God.

§  Unforgiveness toward ourselves.

Step by Step…A Transformed Life

Here are some steps to take toward forgiveness:

§  First, name the person who has been hurtful to you.

§  Name each event, big or small, that God brings to your mind. After you name the person and the event,

§  Verbalize how you felt as a result of interaction with this person or event. For example it could be something like: “My father didn't come to my graduation and it left me feeling unworthy, unloved, rejected, and unimportant.” We often tend to rationalize rather than facing all the reasons the father couldn't come. We tend to not admit how badly we have been hurt. That is why it is important to list every person, event and emotion God brings to your mind. This doesn't mean you need to dig up and ruminate on everything ever done to you; simply focus upon the things revealed to you as you pray.

Many other traumatic things can happen in our lives and forgiveness alone doesn't bring total healing. However, the pathway to move toward healing ways is to honestly acknowledge and repent of any reactions we personally need to own, and to begin to replace those thoughts. This allows us to move into and receive the comfort and compassion that our heavenly Father wants to give us.  The areas of trauma and abuse especially need to be addressed with a safe and compassionate counselor.

Why might a human sometimes need to “forgive” God? Obviously God can do absolutely no wrong. Yet sometimes we hold things against Him because life didn’t go the way we wanted or imagined. Sometimes the simple reality that life has been much harder than we expected can build a wall of distrust. I personally have experienced holding unforgiveness toward God, admitting anger toward Him and needing to let go. Then, the healing can begin and freedom can flow.

 Another area of forgiveness is toward ourselves. In intercession with others, I have seen a tendency to hold it against ourselves when our ministry doesn’t succeed the way we thought it should. Especially among full-time global workers, I have seen that when our children have difficult lives resulting from their own sinful choices, we sometimes tend to blame ourselves and/or God. As parents, we can fall under the weight of self-condemnation. This is a common area where we need to forgive ourselves. Obviously we need to take responsibility for our mistakes. But once they are confessed, the Lord forgives us and wants us to forgive ourselves and receive His forgiveness; not to walk in condemnation and guilt.

If our relationships are not right with others, it will be much harder to have an impact for the Kingdom. When we walk in woundedness and offense, we see life through a filter that is clouded. We have an enemy, Satan, who helps fuel our woundedness, pain, offense and self-pity. He would love for us to live from a victim spirit, inviting us to take offense at every turn.

Andrew Murray describes well these realities in "With Christ in the School of Prayer": 

"When God's forgiving love takes possession of our hearts, we live in love. God's forgiving nature, revealed to us in His love, becomes our nature...If great injury or injustice occurs, try first of all to assume a Godlike disposition. Avoid the sense of wounded honor, the desire to maintain your rights, and the need to punish the offender. Take the command literally: 'Even as Christ forgave, so also do you'.........Our forgiving love toward men is the evidence of God's forgiving love in us." In John 13: 34, 35 Jesus says: "A new commandment I give you that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."  

We can advance God's kingdom by loving each other: through forgiveness, mercy, grace, compassion and love.

God births movements. We, as followers of Christ, need to become the kind of vessels whom God uses in order to partner with His Spirit for the launch of these movements.