By
Dottie Collins with R Nyman
For the
last decade or so, I have had the honor of praying with both men and women working on the
mission field in many different nations. I have seen in my many conversations
and prayer times that living life on the field is not simple or easily understood.
Challenges include not only cultural differences but also issues closer to home:
dealing with teammates, spouses and children, organizations, and loneliness.
Becoming Transformed Ones
No matter
how much head knowledge we have or how well we can accomplish tasks, if our
heart is not transformed and healed we can burn out quickly and become easily
offended and bitter. I believe we can many times do things from a sense of
obligation and not from a place of love – receiving the love God gives us as
His precious sons and daughters so we can pour out His love on others. We struggle with
getting things right and can easily slip into faulty attempts to earn God's
love, rather than receiving and resting in His love. I don’t mean that if you
feel burned out and at the end of your rope you are doing something wrong! I desire
to see both men and women healed and hearts transformed before they go to the mission field so the
pain can be minimized. I have seen this as one of the costs of going to the
field and one of the greatest sacrifices "sent ones" make: the tendency to pour themselves
out until they have nothing left to give.
I hope for
men and women heading overseas to have as much of their heart healed as
possible before going. If the past is not addressed, it is even more difficult
to deal with the stresses of the present. I have repeatedly heard misguided
Christian leaders say that Christians don't need counseling. As a result, those
whom these leaders influence tend to show up on the field with “land mines”
from their past which Satan eagerly triggers.
Hearts Transformed…Hearts Released
How can
hearts be transformed and greater damage prevented? The issues which seem to
surface most frequently, tend to be triggered by past hurt and pain. The past
experiences of not feeling heard, validated, or valued tend to be strong areas
of wounding. Also, I very often see a tendency to carry unforgiveness. Whether
birthed through major trauma, taking offense, or from molehills that have been
coddled as mountains. These choices to not forgive others, when unchecked, become
significant opportunities for strongholds to take root. Small things, when unforgiven,
eventually pile up into large things.
Through my
own experience of feeling misunderstood and not heard, I have realized how such
feelings can turn into unforgiveness, hurt, feeling rejected, feeling as though
everything you do is wrong, resentment and anger.
Launch of Movements or Taking on Water?
Cultivating
a heart that God can use is crucial to the launch of cascading movements to
Christ among UPGs of the world. In reality, we will all be misunderstood and
unheard at times. So, how do we deal with it? I recommend that we first recognize
times when we have felt misunderstood and taken up an offense. If we haven't dealt with such issues from our
past, they tend to be exacerbated in the present. This can lead to feeling
rejected and hopeless, and often self-pity enters in. Once we recognize these feelings,
we can take them to God and talk honestly with Him about them. The Lord has
reminded me repeatedly how gravely He was misunderstood and yet He has great
compassion. It helps me to be reminded of how deeply our Savior was
misunderstood and yet He did not defend himself. Yielding to Christ’s ways
empowers me to let Him defend me and to choose to not defend myself.
Practical Steps to Become the Person Whom God
Uses
§ If you have someone in your life who is safe and
trustworthy, share with him or her how you feel and have them pray with you and
for you.
§
Ask the Lord to show you any places where you
have not recognized a hurt or offense.
This leads
us to a second area in our lives: unforgiveness. When we don't forgive those
who have wronged us, it becomes an obstacle to receiving the forgiveness and
freedom the Lord has for us.
Identifying the Usual Suspects
These are
the main areas of unforgiveness I have seen occurring among mission field
workers, both expat and local:
§
Unforgiveness toward those who have wronged us
(people or organizations).
§
Unforgiveness toward God.
§
Unforgiveness toward ourselves.
Step by Step…A Transformed Life
Here are
some steps to take toward forgiveness:
§ First, name the person who has been hurtful to
you.
§
Name each event, big or small, that God brings to
your mind. After you name the person and the event,
§
Verbalize how you felt as a result of interaction
with this person or event. For example it could be something like: “My father
didn't come to my graduation and it left me feeling unworthy, unloved,
rejected, and unimportant.” We often tend to rationalize rather than facing all
the reasons the father couldn't come. We tend to not admit how badly we have
been hurt. That is why it is important to list every person, event and emotion
God brings to your mind. This doesn't mean you need to dig up and ruminate on everything
ever done to you; simply focus upon the things revealed to you as you pray.
Many other
traumatic things can happen in our lives and forgiveness alone doesn't
bring total healing. However, the pathway to move toward healing ways is to honestly acknowledge and repent of any reactions we personally need to own, and
to begin to replace those thoughts. This allows us to move into and receive the
comfort and compassion that our heavenly Father wants to give us. The areas of trauma and abuse especially need
to be addressed with a safe and compassionate counselor.
Why might
a human sometimes need to recognize and repent from how one has withheld from God, and/or held against God? Obviously God can do absolutely no
wrong. Yet sometimes we hold things against Him because life didn’t go the way
we wanted or imagined. Sometimes the simple reality that life has been much
harder than we expected can build a wall of distrust. I personally have experienced
holding resentment toward God, admitting anger toward Him and needing to let
go. Then, the healing can begin and freedom can flow.
Another area of forgiveness is toward
ourselves. In intercession with others, I have seen a tendency to hold it against
ourselves when our ministry doesn’t succeed the way we thought it should. Especially
among full-time global workers, I have seen that when our children have
difficult lives resulting from their own sinful choices, we sometimes tend to
blame ourselves and/or God. As parents, we can fall under the weight of
self-condemnation. This is a common area where we need to forgive ourselves.
Obviously we need to take responsibility for our mistakes. But once they are
confessed, the Lord forgives us and wants us to forgive ourselves and receive
His forgiveness; not to walk in condemnation and guilt.
If our relationships are not right with others,
it will be much harder to have an impact for the Kingdom. When we walk in
woundedness and offense, we see life through a filter that is clouded. We have
an enemy, Satan, who helps fuel our woundedness, pain, offense and self-pity. He
would love for us to live from a victim spirit, inviting us to take offense at
every turn.
Andrew
Murray describes well these realities in "With Christ in the School of Prayer":
"When God's
forgiving love takes possession of our hearts, we live in love. God's forgiving
nature, revealed to us in His love, becomes our nature...If great injury or
injustice occurs, try first of all to assume a Godlike disposition. Avoid the
sense of wounded honor, the desire to maintain your rights, and the need to
punish the offender. Take the command literally: 'Even as Christ forgave, so
also do you'.........Our forgiving love toward men is the evidence of God's
forgiving love in us." In John 13: 34, 35 Jesus says: "A new
commandment I give you that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you
also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my
disciples, if you have love for one another."
We can advance God's kingdom by loving each
other: through forgiveness, mercy, grace, compassion and love.
God births
movements. We, as followers of Christ, need to become the kind of vessels whom
God uses in order to partner with His Spirit for the launch of these movements.
