DMM: Increase of Decrease

DMM: The Increase of Decrease

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

—Philippians 2:5–8

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”

—James 1:22

Suri rose to prepare the family’s daily meal.

As is common among many of the Muslim unreached people groups in our region, she spoon-fed her young children, well into their pre-adolescent years. What followed, however, was not a cultural norm.

“I must spoon-feed my husband,” she emphasized, “or he will not eat!”

Did I hear her correctly? I wondered.

I asked Suri to clarify, and she repeated the same information. Her husband was an apparently healthy adult, yet she physically spoon-fed him each morning.

The local term for this practice is menyuap. Its root word, suap, refers to feeding someone directly, one mouthful at a time.

Because I had not encountered this particular practice during our many years in Southeast Asia, I asked whether it was a cultural custom unfamiliar to me. Suri assured me that it was not. Rather, she feared that her husband would not care for himself properly and might eventually die.

Her concern had led her to assume responsibility for something he was capable of doing himself.

That conversation stayed with me because it illustrated a danger we encounter in disciple-making: when care unintentionally creates dependency.

The Danger of Spoon-Fed Discipleship

Followers who must continually be spoon-fed rarely become love-and obedience-based disciple makers.

This is not the biblical pattern.

Every new disciple needs nurturing, encouragement, instruction, and patient guidance. Spiritual infancy is natural. Permanent spiritual infancy is not.

Healthy discipleship helps people learn to feed on God’s Word, listen to the Holy Spirit, obey what God reveals, and help others do the same. The goal is not independence from Christ or His Body. It is mature dependence upon Christ rather than unhealthy dependence upon a human teacher.

A movement leader, David Watson, once described the distinction this way: "there is a significant difference between becoming a cross-cultural Christian follower and becoming a cross-cultural Kingdom reproducer."

One may adopt Christian language and practices without learning to reproduce obedient disciples. A Kingdom reproducer, however, abides in Christ, obeys His Word, makes disciples, and equips others to do likewise.

Suri had followed Jesus across cultural boundaries, but her development as a reproducing disciple maker had stalled. Her story also raised an uncomfortable question for me:

Have our methods helped people mature, or have we trained them to wait for us to feed them?

When Care Creates Dependency

Grace-filled, unflinching evaluation is an essential part of Disciple-Making Movements—for local partners and outside catalysts alike.

We must be willing to ask whether our leadership is developing mature disciples or cultivating dependency. Sometimes what appears to be compassionate care may actually prevent another person from assuming responsibility.

A leader may prepare every lesson, answer every question, solve every problem, facilitate every gathering, and make every ministry decision. The disciples receive, but they do not learn to discover. They listen, but they do not obey. They participate, but they do not reproduce.

Gradually, a suap-me mindset develops:

• “Feed me.”
• “Teach me.”
• “Tell me what the passage means.”
• “Answer my questions.”
• “Lead my group.”
• “Do the ministry for me.”

This tendency is not limited to one culture or mission field. It flourishes in many churches and Christian organizations—including those in our passport countries.

The problem is not receiving teaching. Scripture clearly affirms the role of teachers, shepherds, and leaders. The problem arises when teaching never equips hearers to become doers.

James warns us that hearing without obedience produces self-deception.

The Increase That Comes Through Decrease

Philippians 2 presents Jesus as our supreme model.

Though He possessed all authority, He did not use His position for self-exaltation. He emptied Himself, took the form of a servant, humbled Himself, and became obedient—even to death on a cross.

This is the posture required for multiplying discipleship.

Outside catalysts and ministry leaders must become willing to decrease. We model faithfully, but we resist becoming indispensable. We assist patiently, but we do not assume permanent control. We watch others lead, even when they do things differently from us. We coach from alongside—or eventually from a distance—so that local disciples increasingly depend upon Christ and His Word.

Our decrease creates room for others to grow.

This does not mean abandoning emerging leaders before they are multiplying in healthy ways. Nor does it mean withholding care, wisdom, or accountability. It means that our care is always moving toward maturity and reproduction.

In DMM, successful leadership is not measured by how many people depend upon us. It is measured, in part, by how many people are learning to depend upon Christ and equip others.

End Vision Informs Everything

Our End Vision should shape every stage of disciple-making.

If the vision is merely to gather people around an outside teacher, spoon-fed discipleship may appear successful. People attend. They listen. They appreciate the leader. They may even become knowledgeable.

But if the End Vision is to see cascading movements to Christ among unreached peoples, then we must ask different questions:

• How are disciples learning to hear God through His Word?
• How are they responding in loving obedience?
• How are they sharing what they discover?
• How are they gathering their households and relational networks?
• How are they facilitating discovery rather than merely repeating information?
• How effectively are they developing other leaders?
• How are new generations of disciples and groups emerging?

If someone settles into the posture of “God, just feed me,” or protests, “I cannot make disciples because I am not educated enough,” that person may be seeing God, Scripture, or discipleship through an unnecessarily limited lens.

God has always used ordinary people who trust and obey Him. The power does not reside in advanced education, polished communication, or outside expertise. It resides in God’s Word and the Holy Spirit.

Signs of Spoon-Fed Discipleship

A pattern of prolonged spiritual dependency may produce several recognizable characteristics.

1. Dependence on Human Teachers

Disciples rely primarily on others to interpret and apply God’s Word rather than learning to engage Scripture prayerfully under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

2. Vulnerability to Error

When believers have not learned to examine teaching through Scripture, they can be easily misled or ensnared.

3. Difficulty Crossing Cultural Boundaries

Disciples may know how to receive within one familiar church environment but lack the confidence and adaptability to make disciples in another context.

4. A Consumer Orientation

The central question gradually becomes, “What am I receiving?” rather than, “How can I obey, serve, and reproduce what God has entrusted to me?”

5. Fear of Responsibility

Believers may feel incapable of obeying unless an established leader approves every step or accompanies them.

6. Little or No Reproduction

What is continually received but never obeyed or shared rarely produces multiplying generations.

7. Excessive Dependence on the Shepherd

Leaders must continually provide attention that could have been invested in new people and emerging generations.

These signs should not become reasons to shame people. They are invitations to evaluate our discipleship practices and ask how we can help people move toward maturity.

Developing Reproducing Disciples

When evaluating and developing those with whom we partner, we must:

• Listen closely. Seek to understand their spiritual condition, relationships, fears, gifts, and present challenges.
• Encourage clearly. Affirm evidence of God’s work and call forth the potential He has placed within them.
• Model faithfully. Demonstrate how to pray, engage Scripture, make disciples, facilitate groups, and develop leaders.
• Assist appropriately. Serve alongside them while allowing them to assume increasing responsibility.
• Watch attentively. Give them opportunities to lead while observing where further coaching may be helpful.
• Coach intentionally. Ask discovery-oriented questions that help them evaluate, obey, and identify their next steps.
• Release expectantly. Entrust responsibility to them while remaining available for encouragement and accountability.

This process requires humility from the outside catalyst. We must resist the desire to remain at the center, receive the credit, or ensure that everything is done according to our preferences.

Multiplication requires surrendered leadership.

Move With the Movers, While Loving the Lingerers

One of the most important skills in movement work is learning to move with the movers while continuing to love the lingerers.

Some people respond quickly to God’s Word, obey what they learn, share it with others, and begin reproducing. Wise leaders invest deeply in these responsive disciples.

Others require more time. They may struggle with fear, family pressure, unresolved wounds, limited capacity, or reluctance to obey. We do not discard or devalue them. We continue to love, pray for, and encourage them.

Yet love does not require us to invest the same amount of training time in every person.

Jesus loved the crowds, invested more deeply in the disciples, and entrusted particular responsibilities to those who were prepared to receive them. In the same way, movement practitioners must discern where focused investment will produce multiplying fruit.

This is not favoritism. It is stewardship.

Moving with responsive people while loving those who linger requires continual dependence upon the Holy Spirit. Without His guidance, we may become impatient with slower people or remain so occupied with dependent disciples that we neglect emerging reproducers.

The Posture of a Movement Servant

The posture of a heart seeking cascading movements to Christ is anchored in grace-filled choices.

We choose to serve rather than control.

We choose to equip rather than impress.

We choose to release rather than retain.

We choose obedience rather than mere knowledge.

We choose reproduction rather than dependence.

And we choose to decrease so that Christ may increase—in us, in emerging leaders, and throughout multiplying generations of disciples.

The goal is not to produce disciples who continually hold out an empty spoon.

The goal is to help ordinary people feast upon God’s Word, obey the Holy Spirit, and invite others to the table.

—R. A.